Some days I feel like God is working over-time in my life! Many of you have read about our efforts to be better stewards of our resources, which has been a theme in our lives now for about a year. We’ve made many strides in some ways, and in others we have not. But progress is progress, and now we’ve reached another turning point.
I’ve been reading a book called Be Last by Jeremy Kingsley (review on my Blog Tour Spot website), and have been really challenged about living a life as a servant. At the same time God has been working in my heart to reveal the depths of my selfishness. I’m also nearly finished with Quaker Summer by Lisa Samson, which has been a very visual application of all of these things I’m learning about myself.
And then came the news on Monday: a relationship on the brink of disaster with a family member.
The first day I spent frustrated and angry. The injustice! The severity!
The second day I spent pitying our situation. How misunderstood we were. Not even a chance to explain or discuss. I became defensive, thinking of all the things I would say if I could.
The third day, by God’s grace, I began to move beyond myself. I became sad for the family member – the emptiness of life, the search for significance and satisfaction in things that will never fulfill, the anger . . . the absence of Christ. I began praying for that family member as I never had, with compassion and a true desire for reconciliation – with Christ and (hopefully) with us. I felt grateful for God and his mercy. He’s used the situation to highlight some changes we need to make in other relationships, some past issues we need to resolve, and – again – a renewed focus on being good stewards. I am amazed that God is so tender in his teaching and has blessed us with practically an immediate understanding of our sinfulness and need to change. I’m excited for the future. I think we will look back in a few years on this very moment and say “yes, that was a pivotal time in our lives.”
While things felt bleak and heavy just a few days ago, they are now filled with awe for the God we serve and hope for the place he wants to take us. Isn’t that just the way he works? He is so good!
So, how’s he working in your life?
5 responses so far ↓
Monica- Paper Bridges // July 24, 2008 at 2:35 pm
I see a lot of myself in this post. I’m great at serving outside the home, or when I’ve carved out time for it on my own terms. I need to work on my attitude about being “on duty” all the time, especially for my kids. I’m too easily frustrated with the distractions they create.
genny // July 24, 2008 at 3:22 pm
Thanks so much for the reminder to always try to move beyond myself. So glad I stopped by. Loved your thoughts.
Alyssa // July 24, 2008 at 9:18 pm
It’s always insightful to read what God is doing in your life. My post from Tuesday discusses what God is doing in my life–helping me see sin more quickly than I used to. Now if only I could see it ahead of time and avoid it!
spaghettipie // July 26, 2008 at 9:37 pm
M – Oh, what you mention is a whole other post for me. I definitely have to work on that balance and the attitude that accompanies it!
G – Funny, I didn’t realize until I was writing the post that my initial reaction was so self-centered, and that when I was struck by God’s grace and mercy I was finally moving beyond myself.
A – I wish I had that ability too! But as GI Joe says, Knowing is half the battle.
Middle Zone Musings » What I Learned From 2008 - Tina Howard // January 10, 2009 at 12:01 pm
[...] – A Change of Heart – http://spaghettipie.wordpress.com/2008/07/24/a-change-of-heart/ – This post came out of a difficult time with a family member. As usual, God chose to change me, [...]