Last month I wrote about my experiment in submission. Since then, I continue to learn through experience that submission does not come easily for me. For some reason, at the time I wrote the first blog, I thought I had cracked the code to being a submissive wife. All I had to do was follow the formula, and I would live in harmony, intimacy and (I’ll be honest here) perfection with my husband.
I was wrong.
I began to enjoy the routine of preparing for my husband’s arrival. I liked having the house picked up and dinner ready for us to eat together as a family. Not that finding enjoyment and appreciating a clean house and a family meal are bad, but those soon became the reasons for my actions. My focus on encouraging my husband decreased as my own pleasure increased. And, as you might have guessed already, the positive effect on our marriage those actions originally had became void. Life was no different than it was before my experiment began.
And then came 16 days of scrapbooking insanity.
I walk away from this experience realizing that, for me, I need to find different ways to encourage my husband each day. I still intend to prepare for his arrival home each day, but I can’t depend on that to be my act of encouragement. I also understand that being busy or stressed is no excuse. I am hopeful that as time passes, this will become easier. Right now it still feels like everything goes to pot when our lives get crazy. I don’t want it to always be that way. Lastly, and most importantly, I am recommitted to the heart of this issue. As Elizabeth George puts it, I want to ensure that my husband is my highest human priority. I realize that’s what submission is really all about.
Photo: Family photo in Botanic Gardens, 2006