Wow! I never expected my last post to raise such attention. Thanks to all of you who have stopped by to read the post and perhaps leave a comment.
In reading through the comments, I had a couple realizations.
First, if you don’t know me very well (in person or through extensive reading of my blog), it becomes very easy to take my post out of the context of the way I process things. Meaning, when we have a little to no relationship, it’s much more difficult for you to get into my head and read it from that perspective to understand where my heart is. My apologies to those with whom I may have caused any misunderstanding.
Secondly, as writers (which all of us bloggers are), we walk a very fine line between being real and authentic by sharing our thought processes, struggles, and reflections and editing our words as carefully as possible to minimize unintended interpretations and misunderstandings. I try very hard to be a good (and careful) steward of my words while remaining true to myself and what I’m currently thinking about. Sometimes I am successful; sometimes not so much. But please know my intent is always to balance those two sides.
Reading a blog post (at least one of mine) is like stopping in and hearing what I am thinking about in a specific moment. The content of my post is a snapshot of the inner-workings of my brain. It may or may not be reflective of something that consumes the majority of my time or that I have reached a definitive conclusion about. That’s one reason I love the ability to post questions and ideas and hear your thoughts in the comments. I greatly appreciate the discussion, and whether or not we agree, I am always provoked to deeper thoughts as a result.
All of that said, I would like to clarify a few points. Excuse the list; it’s how I think best.
I am NOT saying:
- Food is a sin. Eating food is a sin. Enjoying food is a sin. Being overweight is a sin.
- This core issue to my weight struggle (sin) is the same or this solution (using a spiritual and a physical approach) will work for everyone.
- I walk around in constant shame and self-loathing, unhappy with who I am.
What I AM trying to say:
- For me, my current struggle with weight is not simply an issue of poor eating and exercise habits. If that were so, then a simple change in habits would correct the issue. For me, that root of the issue is what needs to change. And that root is being selfish and self-serving: I do what I want, when I want, solely because I want to, with total disregard for the possible side and future effects. That root issue is what I’m naming sin; not the poor eating or the being overweight.
- I am whole person. For example, a problem with discipline affects my entire being. I can’t relegate it to only one aspect of my life. If I am undisciplined in eating, and continue in that pattern, eventually that lack of discipline will show up in another area of my life. The reverse is also true. A friend of mine just shared with me tonight that as she has found more discipline in exercise, the act of being disciplined is also trickling over into other areas of her life.
Again, I appreciate all of the discussion and only wish we could be doing this over a cup of coffee, face to face. The trouble with printed words is that we can’t hear the inflections in each other’s voices or see the expressions on each other’s faces as we talk about what we’re learning and thinking.
I’m excited about this journey and know that ultimately the process (regardless of its outcome) is drawing me closer to God. If I lose weight or not, that’s not really the goal anymore.
For those of you still curious, I’ll post my little plan tomorrow.