I’m a hard core do-er. I get things done . . . a lot of things. My life motto has been “better busy than bored.” You could even say I’m “known” as a girl who needs little sleep and takes on (and for the most part, does well) several major projects at one time.
And I like it.
About a month ago the Lord convicted me with that I was addicted to it.
He showed me that all of my doing boiled down to two motivations: 1) my identity as a “do-er” and 2) the approval of man for all my doing. In a sense, “doing” had become an idol in my life, rather than an outpouring of my love for him manifesting itself in action. I liked being known for being a go-to girl who could juggle work, family, God, friends, and extra projects. I would act humble when people praised me for all that I could do, but inside my heart bursted with pride. I was proud of what I could do. No need to jump in God, I’d reassure him (?!), I can handle the to-do list. If you just bless what I do, that’d be great. (yikes!)
And in the stillness of my heart, he asked me, What if I took away your ability to get so much done? What would remain? What would you have left?
I’m sure you can guess what my answer was . . . nothing. So I’ve begun walking a little more slowly and a little more intentionally through life. I want my work to be an overflow of my love for him and nothing else.
Oh, I’m still a do-er. That’s how I’m wired. I don’t imagine the activity level in my life will change much. But my heart already has. And that makes all the difference.
Dena Dyer’s post on Spiritual Doldrums