Nine tips (because ten is so overrated!) to help your day of mulching run more smoothly.
Admittedly, these are not all learned by experience (mulching gives you time to write blog posts in your head), but I will certainly not confess to the ones which were . . .
1. Make sure you have a real, grown-up person wheelbarrow. Not only will your kid’s wagon kill your back, but sharing with a 3 year old isn’t always easy.
2. Mulching on a windy day isn’t advisable. You especially don’t want to be standing downwind when you’re tossing a handful of mulch into “that empty spot over there.” And if you do it more than once . . . well, you probably deserved that mulch in your eye.
4. When you can’t find #3, just stick her in a backpack while you work. No worrying about where she is, no sirree! Give her a bag of goldfish to munch on and you’re golden.
5. Planning to attend two parties and help a friend move on the same day that you mulch all of the flower beds in the front and back yards doesn’t really facilitate a blissful marriage. (And husbands, when your wife suggests perhaps you’re trying to do too much in one day, save yourself the guessing and just agree.)
6. If the mulch begins to move, you’ve probably buried some animal . . . like a toad. When said animal finally jumps out, it is understandable if you still shriek and run away even though you should’ve expected it. But you do look pretty stupid when you do that the second time, not 5 minutes later.
8. It would be advisable to warn your spouse before you turn on the sprinkler in the flower bed in which she is standing . . . I mean, if you care about marital harmony.
9. Think carefully about the timing of the “Margaritas and Mulch” party you want to throw. The night AFTER you mulch all day would be preferable to the night BEFORE you want to get up early to mulch all day.