spaghettipie

Oppressive Moments of Motherhood

I’d say 95% of the time I relish the privilege of being a mom. Sure it’s hard at times, but the shining moments outweigh the dim ones.

And then there’s a day like yesterday.

Oh, you know, one when you feel like a pot of water just starting to boil, and you’re trying to keep the lid on, but bits of steam keep slipping out and the lid is starting to rattle and clang. You know if the water and steam spews out it will burn anyone nearby, so you try to keep it contained but you’re not sure how much longer you can keep the lid on.

That’s how I felt after four hours of “I’m tired, hungry, and grumpy but I don’t want to eat anything, do anything, or take a rest.” I understood where my daughter was coming from, but you can only do so much for a child refusing to do anything (and doing so with an attitude). Anyway, by the end of that time – but before my husband made it home – the word I kept thinking about was oppressed. I had mom’s group that evening, and I just counted down the minutes until I could get out.

Which made me think about blogging.

Writing and blogging is often my release. My way of sorting things out that are in my head – or sometimes just letting them out before they explode. Lately stuff has been piling up in this brain of mine and in some ways has just clogged up the works from letting anything out. It’s that same feeling when your house is out of control, and as much as you want to reign it back in, it’s so overwhelming that you just don’t know where to start. So you sit on the couch and watch late night television instead.

So here’s my hopeful re-entry back into the blogging world. I’ll leave you with a few ideas on how to escape those oppressive moments of motherhood (just to bring things full circle and all). I’d love to hear your coping strategies as well – for motherhood and for blogging.

1. Join a mom’s group (or something like that). If you don’t have one available to you, consider starting one. It doesn’t have to be fancy or highly organized; just create space for mom’s to get together and encourage one another. Our group just meets once a month, but it is a HAVEN for me.

2. Get out of the house. Sometimes your child cannot handle going anywhere, and you do need to respect that. But you can move your two feet past the threshold of your front or back door for a couple minutes. Sometimes the fresh air and sunshine (if you have it that day) can work wonders on the soul.

3. Let a little steam out. You can send out a tweet, like I did:

So thankful for Mom’s group tonight. Otherwise, the world might be less one cute 4-year-old by tomorrow morning…

which made me feel better just telling someone else that I was having a hard time. Or you can use a lifeline and phone-a-friend. I also sent a text to a friend asking if I could arrive a few minutes early to mom’s group for the safety of my own child. If I had to go much longer on my own, I probably would’ve called someone to just blow off some steam. That way, I could release it in a way that was productive and not harmful to my child.

4. Of course, there’s always praying about it. In moments like those, I can’t offer long prayers, and I don’t usually feel like whipping out my Bible to read. But I send up short, SOS-type prayers to the Father: letting him know of my frustration, asking him for his perspective on the situation, or just asking for strength to make it.

As always, would love to hear your thoughts!

(Photo: My 4-year-old just before Christmas time. I know, hard to believe that she could be anything but sweetness and light from this photo, right?)

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7 comments

  1. You wrote: “I understood where my daughter was coming from, but you can only do so much for a child refusing to do anything (and doing so with an attitude).”

    I recently survived a couple of days very much like that with my daughter.

    She’s 14.

    Okay, so she didn’t exactly refuse to do things, but she sure did them with an attitude!

    Like you, writing and blogging and tweeting can be one way to process the aggravation…I find camaraderie and commiseration in the public dialogue and insight and wisdom in the private, inner dialogue of journaling and written expressions of prayer. Leaning on the Lord is critical for me, just as you said in your advice.

    And that moms’ group you’re part of? Stay together through the years if you can, even when life gets more full, because you’ll continue to need each other through every stage of parenting, when the four-year-olds work their way up to being 14-year-olds.

  2. spaghettipie

    K – I’ve missed you! I’m re-entering the blogging world, so I’m looking forward to catching up on your blog.

    A – Thanks so much for your wisdom and for stopping by. I always appreciate hearing from you.

  3. Hey Tina – wanted to say hello after seeing you at the museum today. I, too, took off some time on the blog because it had become a burden, another item on a impossibly long list of things to do. Since then, I’ve managed to figure out how to keep my house more clean, I’m paying the bills on time, I’m doing a better job of meal planning, but I can’t figure out where to work in blog time. Especially after I begin a light morning exercise routine (not there yet, though).

    If I’m too routine-ized, I’m not creative; if I yield too much to creative urges then nothing practical gets done. So I haven’t got it all figured out. Let me know when you do?

  4. spaghettipie

    M – Fun to run into you . . . and um, yea, I’ll let you know when I get it all figured out, as long as you promise to let me know if you figure it out first. 🙂

  5. Pingback: The Lecture

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