Things Kids Say

Haven’t posted some of my daughter’s quotes in a while. Here are a few to brighten your Friday!

D: Daddy, I need money for my purse. Dad: I just gave you some. Where’d it go? D: I don’t know. Me: Welcome to the rest of your life…

Daughter ate a particularly tart piece of Clementine. When I asked if she wanted more, she declined on account of being “super tarted.”

Me: D, No jumping from atop the chair back to the pillow when Dad isn’t here. Dad: And let’s not do it with your eyes closed, either! (AGH!)

Daughter, playing Rudolph, insists on returning to the car after each “stop.” When asked why, her reply: “Because it’s just too far!”

D:1 little monkey jumpin on the bed. He fell off & bumped his head. Mama called the Dr & Dr said: That naughty monkey! He has to go to jail!

D: Mama, I can’t think, my brain is full. Me: Wow, that’s crazy since you’re just four. What filled it? D: I’m storing food for next winter.

D: Mama, is that a manhole? Me: Yes, it is. D: Why can’t women go down in there?

D: (upon waking up this am) Mama, I slept the entire time I had my eyes closed!

D: Mama, if I made a poop bigger than God . . . I would win a prize. (debated about posting, but after sharing with a group today, oh well!)

D: Mama, if you were the mommy for all the kids in the world…we’d need a lot of bunk beds.

D: Mom, do you know why I pick my nose sometimes? Me: Why? D: So I can sell my boogers… Am I proud or totally grossed out??

D: Mama, why did I throw up on @kpinion when I was a baby? Me: Well, you were really upset and had just eaten. D: Actually, it was my plan.

Me: Honey, why were you so grumpy this afternoon? What’s up? D: Well, I just left my smile at home.

D: Can God see even outside my heart? (We talk about him being inside our hearts…) Is he getting all bloody in there?

Me: We’re having a baby shower at our house tonight! D: Do I have to get into the water, too?

D-2 grandma (re: getting a shot) – I’ll hold your hand if you want. But if you start to say Ow, then you’ll have to hold my mom’s hand.

I keep trying to correct her but, my daughter just can’t seem to get it straight . . . she still wants me to put “pall nailish” on her toes.


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