spaghettipie

A New Identity

201112 NewsletterI’m a do-er. A Martha. A go-to girl. If no one is going to step up and take charge, I will. If getting it done means staying up until all hours of the night, I’m your girl. In fact, I can multi-task in my sleep.

All of that is well and good, except I let it become my identity. In fact, I wore it around my neck like a superhero’s cape.

And then during a prayer time, God asked me – “What if I took it all away? All the activities, all the programs, the businesses, the tasks. What if I took them all away? Who would be left?”

I didn’t know the answer. I felt as though I were nothing without what I do. My friends admired me (and in my mind, liked me) because I get so much done. People count on me to do things for them. I couldn’t even begin to imagine what it would look like if my abilities, my energy, my drive were gone.

And so began a journey to find a new identity. One that is grounded in who Jesus is because I am his creation and his daughter. One where he is central and sufficient. One that recognizes his reputation is the only one that matters.

And amazingly, one that allows me to pursue those passions he’s placed inside of me, rather than just doing stuff to do it or because I could. Which means over the course of the last couple years, I’ve been refocusing my activities:

  • I volunteer in one main area at church – our women’s ministry. As a member of a small church, I still pitch in where it’s needed, but I am more intentional about what I choose to do.
  • I’ve shut down a couple businesses, most recently including my blog tour coordination business. I realized that the activity is mainly administrative, and after a while that crushes my spirit. I have administrative skills, but I thrive in the creative.
  • To that end, I’ve focused in two areas: photography and writing. I officially opened Fall Meadow Photography and Design. I’m pursuing what has been a hobby to me, and I love the balance between creative, strategy, and administration.
  • I’ve also rededicated myself to blogging and writing. I recently accepted the position of Content Editor for Laity Lodge Family Camp. I am super excited to combine my passion for writing with my heart for the family unit. Plus, my family loves Laity Lodge – it has become a special family tradition to visit there each year – so this is a really great fit.
  • I’m guarding our family schedule more carefully, and I am trying to be diligent about holding a couple nights a week without activities. Before, if the time was open, it was fair game. Now we are being more intentional.
  • I want my family to be a priority, and yet before my calendar would’ve said otherwise. So we’ve scheduled date nights each week. One week is with my husband and I, one with my eldest daughter, one with my youngest daughter, and one family night. The months that have five weeks, we will find a place to serve as a family. So far, it’s been a delight to spend the time together.

This pursuit of a new identity is certainly that: a pursuit. But the journey is showing me that I can be free to be who God has created me to be. I’m putting off the old self and taking on the new self.

And it’s good to be me.

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16 comments

  1. I have often sung the lyrics to the song “Enough,” and wondered: “Do I really mean that? God, do I really live like You are ENOUGH for me?” …

    Great post. Convicting …

    P.S. — So delighted about your Laity Lodge editor role! Yay!

  2. Yes, welcome to the Team.

    And this is the way it goes, isn’t it? We move along and sometimes regroup, shift. The only way we know is usually some kind of fatigue or pain or ache or dream. I’m glad you followed the signals, the invitation.

  3. I so admire your pursuit…you inspire me to be more deliberate. That seems to be a big theme for me this year! I visited your photography site also, Tina, and your photos are lovely!

    Welcome to the High Calling team. So excited to get to know you better.

  4. spaghettipie

    LM – I’ve missed you! I was just thinking about you the other day. Hope you are staying warm!
    M – Thanks, friend. We’ve both been on quite a journey this past year, haven’t we?
    DR – Funny, I was telling a friend the other day that I had a post brewing in my mind about that very thing – that so often the process of cleaning out gets a lot worse before it gets better.
    J – Yes, the sufficiency of Christ has long been a struggle for me. It’s so easy to depend on ourselves, “pull ourselves up by our own boot straps” . . . he is enough.
    DD – So excited to join the team as well!
    KS – It’s always a good process. I like the New Year – it reminds me to think about such things.
    cas – Looking forward to getting to know you too! Appreciated your Huffington Post article.
    LL – Such truth in your comments. I’m thankful for the signals, or I might not ever know! Now I just need to get better at recognizing them sooner! šŸ™‚
    LB – Thanks for your kind words. Being deliberate requires so much work and thought, that I do better at times than others. But hopefully it gets easier with experience!

  5. spaghettipie

    DW – I’m super excited to join you guys!
    CS – It feels good – I highly recommend it! Thanks so much for stopping by!

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