spaghettipie

As I mentioned in my previous post, our pastor gave five women in our church an opportunity to share their hearts. I asked you ladies to share your hearts, and I so appreciate your responses!

My heart is for true community and seeing the Body of Christ as it was intended to be. The vulnerability that requires and the risk of rejection sometimes scares me, but I am discontent with living life on the surface with others. And I struggle with seeing the number of divisions and walls we put up among Christians (let alone how we isolate non-Christians).

My experience with Africa has shaped my perspective on this topic profoundly. When we visited with a pastor in Sudan, he admonished us, “You Americans, you often forget that we (meaning Christians, not just the Sudanese) are in a war. We Sudanese remember because we are on the front lines fighting for Christianity every day.” Many Africans we encountered expressed their concern for American Christians. They could see how our denominations had become our “tribes.”  They were saddened that we spend so much time arguing and debating each other, when an enemy is waging war against Christianity.

I think we often get into the trap of adding too much to the fundamental truths of Christianity (the non-negotiables, if you will). We make it easy on Satan; why does he need to come against us when we come against each other? My husband is currently mulling over a legitimate business idea, and his main concern with moving forward is the harsh and ugly responses we would most likely receive from - you guessed it - Christians.

This desire to see our fractured, self-focused churches compels me on two levels.

First, I try to intentionally focus on building community in my personal relationships. I try to be authentic and real as possible, ready to admit my faults and express my deepest desires. Now, I don’t usually dump all this information in a casual conversation or to fill the silence, but if you ask me about it or if I see an appropriate opportunity, I am willing to share.

Secondly, I have become increasingly involved in a local organization whose aim is to network churches together to reach the lost in our community. I love that this organization is not seeking to implement new programs on its own. Rather, it seeks to bring area pastors together, help them identify a need in their community they can meet together, and then make that plan a reality. The goal of the organization is to eventually step out of the process entirely as the churches take over.

Well now, that’s a whole lot of words - so I guess it is evident how strongly I feel about this topic. I’d love for you to continue to share your heart with me. Or to hear your thoughts on community. Or both.

I’m sitting here in a favorite coffee shop, sipping a latte on a Monday afternoon. I haven’t had to put anyone in time out, clean up messes I did not make, or give out bribes to stay seated in a shopping cart.

What have I done with my child, you ask? My husband gave me the best Mother’s Day gift EVER: a day off. He told me on Friday that he was taking a day of vacation today so he could watch my daughter while I did . . . whatever I wanted. Ah! It’s been absolutely wonderful. On top of that, my husband and daughter are having a fantastically special father-daughter day together, which also warms my heart.

I also wanted to share with you about what we talked about in church on Sunday. Our pastor shared with us the history of mother’s day, that it’s original intention was not about honoring/thanking our moms (although that is wonderful!) and all of the commercialization that goes along with that. The day started out as a call to mothers to band together and speak out with one voice. At its core, Mother’s Day allowed women to share their hearts concerning reconciliation, and issue a plea to be heard.

So our pastor wanted to capture that intent and allow for women in our church to share their hearts for our congregation to hear and honor their hearts. He said that the woman’s voice is a sacred voice that should be heard, and ignoring it keeps us from fully understanding who God is (Gen 1:27 - He made male AND female in His image, together they paint the complete picture). I loved that this focused on women - and not in an ultra-feminist sort of way - in a way that remembered those who were not moms, had lost moms, or had poor relationships with their mothers. Then five women whom I admire greatly got up and shared their hearts; I was so encouraged! I’d love for you to listen to the audio here (Select Mother’s Day 2008). I’ve listed below one thing (among many!) that I learned from each woman.

Angela (a heart for missions): That it’s okay to have and pursue a passion outside of being a wife and mom. Submit those passions to Him and seek Him continually throughout the process, but remember He gave you the passions in addition to the roles you play.

Kathy (a heart for prayer): Prayer is important, and Paul does not recommend praying without ceasing as merely a “good suggestion.” It’s an imperative.

Nikki (a heart for family): Christ remained committed to the disciples, despite their lack of commitment (at times) to them. The same should be true for my relationship with my family.

Susie (a heart for children): See your relationship with all the children in your life as a blessing and an opportunity.

Belinda (a heart for hearts being redeemed): When we move toward each other with no guarantees, we feel vulnerable, but that’s what true community is all about. You don’t realize how tightly you hold onto lies that gave you life before, until you have to let them go.

If you listen to the audio and something resonates with you, please feel free to share as well.

I started to write about my heart, but it made the post too long. I’ll share it in another post this week.

Ladies, I’d love to give you a voice here, too. Will you share a little bit of your hearts as well? You can leave your thoughts in the comments or write a post of your own (but let me know so I can link to you!)

Happy Mother’s Day!

If you’ve been around me, you know one of my favorite subjects (other than my daughter!) is flowers. Here are a couple recent pics from my MIL’s garden.

Let me know in the comments if you posted some pictures of your own this Saturday (or this week!)
Photos: Roses ( 2008 ) and Clematis ( 2008 )

It’s 3:04am, and I’m still wide awake.

Actually, this happens to me quite often. The problem tonight is that I stayed up too late working, and now my brain does not want to slow down long enough to fall asleep. (and I’ve been doing so well at going to bed early this week!).

So when you’re stuck wide awake while everyone else is asleep, what do you do?

We sat together tonight, crowded together in my living room, and listened to four members of a team headed to Sudan next week share what was on their hearts in that moment. A desire to trust God in all of the details, and yet difficulty in doing so. A feeling of frantically trying to tie up all loose ends before leaving, and falling short. A hope that they would be able to let God’s love flow through them to the Sudanese. A hint of fear expressed from loved ones.

And then, together, we laid it all at the feet of Jesus.

In a quiet moment during that communal prayer, the word “retreat” flitted through my mind. This place - my humble little living room - had become a retreat for those team members from the stress and busy-ness of preparing to leave for a foreign place. A place to stop, be still, share their hearts, and be encouraged by the Body. For me, I also retreated from my day and the demands of being a wife and mother. A quiet fellowship with other believers, completely focused on who God is and making His glory known throughout the nations.

As we finished praying, no one moved; no one wanted to be the one to break the peace and tranquility that had infiltrated our busy lives. Everyone wanted to linger just a little longer in this place we had come to together: this retreat. I could see the sense of being refreshed in each person’s eyes as he or she finally rose, ready to engage with the world.

Isn’t this what the Body is supposed to be like? A retreat from the world. A place to encourage one another, to rest in who God is together, to learn together so that we can re-engage with the world? We can’t retreat forever, but stepping out of our daily lives to refocus on Him is vital. And when we gather together as Christians and find a retreat, we finally experience what God intended “the church” to be.

Perhaps I only see this because of the group writing project on retreating over at High Calling Blogs, but I’m thankful that it’s provoked me to pause and consider it.

In the spirit of full disclosure, you should also know that this post puts my name in the hat for a free retreat at Laity Lodge. Anyone who reading this can register for 25% off of selected retreats as well. When you call to register, ask for “the HighCallingBlogs.com discount.” If you also want to participate in the writing project, write a post by Friday, May 9, at noon Central Time and you can receive 50% off of selected retreats and be entered in the drawing as well. Check out Marcus’s or Chris’s blog for more details.

When I talk about summer foods, I’m thinking of recipes that either a) include summer fruits and vegetables, b) require little to no cooking, c) are on the lighter side, or d) I would bring to a picnic or barbecue.

Is your recipe repertoire a little lacking in the Summer Recipes department?

Mine certainly is. So I asked some of my friends to send me a few of their favorite summer recipes, and I’m putting them together on a new little blog. I’m still working on posting them all, but I’d love for you to go peruse now and see what you can find.

If something sparks your interest, make it and leave a comment on what you thought or what modifications you suggest. If you remember one of your own favorites, please feel free to email me, and I’d love to add it.

I just got my first SLR camera, and I’ve been having fun taking pictures and figuring it out. Inspired by the fun I had with Anna Carson’s projects and bloggy friends like Craver, I thought I would start posting a few of my favorite pictures each Saturday. Here’s the first set.

Photos: Mud Pie Maker - 2008

Generally speaking, I typically have more success when I develop a plan to follow. It’s like when I have my quiet time. I learn more and spend less time wandering around aimlessly when I have a Bible study or devotional book to help me. I don’t do so well with a vague, sit-down-with-the-Bible-and-journal and just hope something inspirational happens.

As you’re reading my list (and possible even considering some of it for yourself), please remember this: I view lists like I do recipes, as guidelines. My to-do lists may include tasks I need to complete now or six months from now, ideas I just want to try, or brainstormed items I want to remember for a rainy day. If you struggle with legalism, this kind of plan may not be the right one for you. I don’t want the list to consume you and become your focus, rather than the end goal.

So without further ado, here it is.

1) Put on my armor every morning. (Ephesians 6:10-17) This is as much about wearing the armor as it is reminding myself daily that I’m in a battle and need to guard my mind.

2) No food until I’ve had my daily bread. This is my only rule for myself. We have a routine every morning which affords me some time to eat breakfast, clean up the kitchen, read email, and blog. I am re-prioritizing my morning to go first to the Word and prayer. I think sometimes I get trapped into thinking I can’t study my Bible while my daughter is up and around because I might get interrupted. The reality is I really don’t have any time in my day when I will be interruption-free, and I want her to come find me studying the Bible or praying sometimes!

3) Create a prayer support team. I’ve asked a couple of friends to pray with me through this issue over the next six months. As Real Live Preacher pointed out in the previous post, support groups are crucial. This small team will keep me accountable, as well as help keep me covered in prayer.

4) Memorize Scripture. I’ve written down several verses, each on half of an index card. They easily fit in my purse, and I pull them out from time to time during my day and review them.

(wow up to this point, it doesn’t sound like your traditional weight-loss plan, does it?)

5) Work through a slightly modified version of my weight loss plan from earlier this year. Here’s the update. As you might remember, I added a new component each week.

• No food after 10pm
• Choose healthy options for snacks. (That includes getting rid of the unhealthy options in my house and stocking up on good alternatives)
• Drink 48 oz water per day.
• Eat oatmeal for breakfast twice a week.
• 100 crunches a day.
• Eat salad for lunch once a week.
• Exercise 30 minutes a day.
• Go to the gym twice a week.

6) Add a Sabbath to our week. I’m not quite there yet, but I really want to start doing this before the end of the year. I need to pray and think through it a little more.

Well, that’s it for now! As usual, would love any thoughts or additional ideas.

Wow! I never expected my last post to raise such attention. Thanks to all of you who have stopped by to read the post and perhaps leave a comment.

In reading through the comments, I had a couple realizations.

First, if you don’t know me very well (in person or through extensive reading of my blog), it becomes very easy to take my post out of the context of the way I process things. Meaning, when we have a little to no relationship, it’s much more difficult for you to get into my head and read it from that perspective to understand where my heart is. My apologies to those with whom I may have caused any misunderstanding.

Secondly, as writers (which all of us bloggers are), we walk a very fine line between being real and authentic by sharing our thought processes, struggles, and reflections and editing our words as carefully as possible to minimize unintended interpretations and misunderstandings. I try very hard to be a good (and careful) steward of my words while remaining true to myself and what I’m currently thinking about. Sometimes I am successful; sometimes not so much. But please know my intent is always to balance those two sides.

Reading a blog post (at least one of mine) is like stopping in and hearing what I am thinking about in a specific moment. The content of my post is a snapshot of the inner-workings of my brain. It may or may not be reflective of something that consumes the majority of my time or that I have reached a definitive conclusion about. That’s one reason I love the ability to post questions and ideas and hear your thoughts in the comments. I greatly appreciate the discussion, and whether or not we agree, I am always provoked to deeper thoughts as a result.

All of that said, I would like to clarify a few points. Excuse the list; it’s how I think best.

I am NOT saying:

• Food is a sin. Eating food is a sin. Enjoying food is a sin. Being overweight is a sin.
• This core issue to my weight struggle (sin) is the same or this solution (using a spiritual and a physical approach) will work for everyone.
• I walk around in constant shame and self-loathing, unhappy with who I am.

What I AM trying to say:

• For me, my current struggle with weight is not simply an issue of poor eating and exercise habits. If that were so, then a simple change in habits would correct the issue. For me, that root of the issue is what needs to change. And that root is being selfish and self-serving: I do what I want, when I want, solely because I want to, with total disregard for the possible side and future effects. That root issue is what I’m naming sin; not the poor eating or the being overweight.
• I am whole person. For example, a problem with discipline affects my entire being. I can’t relegate it to only one aspect of my life. If I am undisciplined in eating, and continue in that pattern, eventually that lack of discipline will show up in another area of my life. The reverse is also true. A friend of mine just shared with me tonight that as she has found more discipline in exercise, the act of being disciplined is also trickling over into other areas of her life.

Again, I appreciate all of the discussion and only wish we could be doing this over a cup of coffee, face to face. The trouble with printed words is that we can’t hear the inflections in each other’s voices or see the expressions on each other’s faces as we talk about what we’re learning and thinking.

I’m excited about this journey and know that ultimately the process (regardless of its outcome) is drawing me closer to God. If I lose weight or not, that’s not really the goal anymore.

For those of you still curious, I’ll post my little plan tomorrow.

I’ve struggled with my weight for the past several years and have unsuccessfully tried to change my eating and exercise habits. I have finally come to grips with the fact that I’m not getting to the root of the issue. Oh, I know all the right answers about how to lose weight, how to eat healthy, and how to exercise. My perception of the issue needed to shift. My desire to lose weight merely addressed a surface issue - a symptom, if you will. So the core issue - my desire to satisfy my flesh - always won out. I eat things I should not eat simply because I want to, because they will taste good. As Kay Arthur points out in her book Lord, I Want to Know You, ” . . .the flesh cannot wait. It demands that its cravings be satisfied. Not later, but now!”

So I’ve come to the point where I realize that this struggle with being overweight is at its core, a sin issue. My overeating is a symptom of my reluctance to put to death the flesh. To submit to Him (my Lord!) my focus on self and getting what I want when I want.

A long time ago I came to the realization that the physical, spiritual, and emotional aspects of my life were all tied tightly together. When one area was out of whack, it affected all the other areas of my life. I am reminded of this principle again as I walk through this issue. Honestly, my relationship with God has been stale for far too long. My consistency in His word and in prayer is lacking. And I am now realizing how it is affecting my physical being. My lack of discipline in my “spiritual life” (like you can really separate it out?) overflows into a lack of discipline in my physical being. The additional pounds I see on my scale are also representative of sin that is weighing me down.

So my weight-loss solution? Stay tuned.

In the meantime, I’d love to hear your thoughts, or how you have handled similar struggles.